RACK 1...

Today's was super simple and a great way to spread cheer with no cost.

I let a frazzled mother with her 18 month old son go in front of me in the crazy long line at Toys R Us. She had a full cart and I only had 3 or 4 items but it was obvious she needed to be out of there much faster than I did.

Her reaction was priceless. She couldn't understand why someone with only a couple things would get behind her. I told her about my RACKs and that I thought she was in a bigger hurry than me. Her smile was awesome and I swear she wanted to hug me.

I played with her son, James, for a few minutes while she was paying and she wished me a Merry Christmas.

Simple and free and I made her day. :)

Random Acts of Christmas Kindness

In the hustle and bustle of decorating the house, finding the perfect gifts, getting halfway decent family photos taken for cards and trying to actually get them mailed out, it's really easy to forget why we are celebrating to begin with. We are celebrating the birth of Christ! The Messiah! Our Savior!

Now that I'm a mom, it's even more important for me to find ways to make Christ the center of our traditions. I would love to tell you I came up with this idea while spending quiet time of reflection with God, but honestly it was a pin, of a pin, of a pin, from a friend on Pinterest. (If you're not on that site you should be! Email me and I'll invite you.)

The idea is so beautifully simple. Everyday in Advent you do something nice and unexpected for a stranger. What better way to give Jesus a birthday present than to do nice things for the people He loves? And get my family thinking about something other than what cool gift they want to receive.

Here is the original blog post that inspired me. {RACKS} Once I had the idea, my husband and I googled "random acts of kindess" and compiled a list of about 30 ideas we liked and are in our budget. My plan is to pray every morning that God would put someone in my path that needs a random blessing but if I don't see them then I have a standby list of things to pull from.

I gave a lot of thought about posting these because I don't want this to be about me. Matthew 6:3 "But when you give to the needy, do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing" comes to mind. In the end I decided to go with Matthew 5:14 "You are the light of the world. A city on a hill cannot be hidden." I would never have come up with this idea if someone else hadn't shared it first. I hope I can inspire someone else to start a similar tradition. 


Happy Advent Everyone. Prepare the way of the Lord!

Easy Apple Breakfast Bread

(adapted from allrecipes.com)

Prep time 15. Bake time 70.

Ingredients

3 cups all-purpose flour                                          1 cup vegetable oil

2 medium apples – peeled and diced                      2 cups white sugar

1 teaspoon salt                                                       1/2 cup brown sugar

1 teaspoon baking soda                                          2 teaspoons cinnamon

1 cup walnuts or raisins (optional)                           3 eggs, beaten

Directions

Preheat oven to 300 degrees. Spray 2 loaf pans with cooking spray and set aside.

Mix flour, baking soda, salt, nut or raisins and apples in large bowl. Whisk oil, sugar, eggs and cinnamon in a small bowl; add to flour mixture and stir unit just moistened. Evenly divide between 2 loaf pans.

Bake in preheated oven until toothpick inserted in center comes out clean. About 70 minutes. Cool in pans for 10 minutes before removing to cool completely on a wire rack.

Toddler in the kitchen tip –My little one isn’t ready to scoop and measure ingredients yet but he loves to dump. I pre-measured everything and put them in small plastic mixing bowls so he could dump them in at the right time (I put the salt and baking soda in with the flour and the cinnamon in with the sugar.) I also let him crack the eggs. He said that was "SO FUN"! Just make sure you add the eggs first so you can scoop out any shells bits. 

The bread tasted great, the house smelled amazing for hours and making it with him was a blast.

I long to hold you

I don’t have a very snuggly kid. He gives great hugs and kisses and will occasionally sit on your lap for a short story, but for the most part, he prefers to be in constant motion. He was only 8 months old when he stopped letting me rock him to sleep. I love that he is independent but I miss those days.  

Saturday morning he woke up with some tummy troubles. From 7am until about 12:30 he sat in my lap. He wasn’t in terrible pain or anything dramatic, he just didn’t feel good and wanted to cuddle with Mommy. We watched The Lion King and most of Finding Nemo then read Are you my Mother?, Go Dog, Go! and Green Eggs and Ham approximately 637 times. Each. 

He took a short nap on me around 9:30 and as I stroked his little cheek, I had to smile. I don’t ever want him to be sick or hurt, but at the same time I love that he came to me and let me take care of him. I love that this fantastic, sweet, independent little creature slowed down, for the first time in almost 2 years, enough to curl up in my lap and just be close to me.

As I said a little prayer for him that he would feel better and thanked Jesus for letting me be his Momma, I had a God moment. This is what He wants from me.

“…How often I have desired and yearned to gather your children together around Me, as a hen gathers her young under her wings, but you would not!” Luke 13:34

He wants me to stop being in constant motion. He wants me to put aside everything else, crawl into his arms and just be with Him. He is my dad. He loves me so much more and so much better than I can ever love Justice and though he’s proud of me and takes pleasure in seeing me accomplish things, what he wants most of all is for me to snuggle up with him every once in a while.

Like Justice, I give hugs and kisses to God, little prayers of thanks and praise throughout the week. And I may sit with Him for a few minutes to hear a story but it’s not until I’m sick or hurt (usually emotionally) that I really tuck in with God and let Him take care of me. 

I remember how close I felt to God as we traveled through infertility. I know He is always beside me, but during that time I was actively reaching for His hand. I spent hours in prayer and meditation. I read and read and read His word. And I felt at peace. During the most challenging years of my life, even when I was aching for a child, I was at peace.

Why is it so hard to keep that closeness when things are good? 

That is my simple prayer this week. Help me to be still Lord.

He is, I am, and we are.

Once again I am blown away by the talents God gives other people. I was searching for new music and found myself lost in the world of Audrey Assad. WOW! God is using her for some amazing things. Her perspective and ability to share her insights in such an eloquent way is absolutely divine.

This is a short post from her blog from years ago ...

“Don't you see Me watching you?” He asks, His laughter thinly veiled. I feel simultaneous terror, exhilaration, and amused. He is funny…and watchful. Something He once told me is ringing in my ears…”I’ve known you forever.” Suddenly I feel so seen. He is a witness to my entire life, from the knitting of my bones to my tiniest discontentment, my most secret joy. How strange and beautiful to be seen, to be watched, to be witnessed.
I am more naked than I understand. Even my skin doesn’t come between my God and me, nor does the rib cage around my heart. No. He is, I am, and we are. I am a pulsing vein, and He is lifegiving, oxygen-supplying Blood. I breathe the air of heaven in His whispers.
And everywhere I look He winks at me.

WOW! Right?

I am amazed at the gifts she has. For me, it's easier to see God's hand at work in gifts I don't have. Not only can't I write like this, I can't even think like this until God puts someone like Audrey in front of me. I'm not envious of her writing ability but I'm envious of her ability to see Christ in such a vivid way. I want that.

Precious Lord,
Thank you for the gifts you have given me: mercy, service, encouragement. You have given me so much but still I pray today that you open the eyes of my heart more. I want to see you in all of creation and praise you with every pulse of my veins. I want to see you wink at me everywhere I go. I want to please you and praise you and share you in everything I do.

I love you. Amen.

What are my priorities?

“There will always be a battle between what is urgent and what is a priority.”

My pastor started his sermon with this on Sunday and I can’t get it out of my head. Actually, the entire message hit me hard. One of those oh so familiar times when Todd starts speaking and I swear he has been spying on me and wrote a message to specifically call me out.

As I’ve gone about this week I’ve been evaluating what my priorities are. How am I spending my money, my time and my talents? What am I doing to keep my marriage strong and my husband happy? What are my parenting priorities?

Tough questions, I know.

I have been successful at work, in large part, because I’m a planner. I set long-term and short-term goals then make a plan. I usually re-evaluate on a quarterly basis to see if I’m on track and if not, I come up with a new plan. Why can’t I do this in other areas of my life? I should be a thousand times more concerned with having a successful marriage and a godly child as I am about hitting my sales forecasts.

So what are my priorities? After a lot of prayer I had 2 revelations. Firstly, my top 3 priorities aren’t whats but whos. Brandon, Justice and Jesus. Here’s the other cool realization, the goals are the same for all 3. Short-term – spend more time together. Long-term – spend eternity together in Heaven.

Now the harder part, figuring out a plan on how to reach these goals. I’ll keep you posted on what I come up with. Any ideas you’d like to share?

What not to ask an adoptive parent...

I’m a white woman, married to a white man and we have a brown baby. It’s pretty obvious that this child came to be ours through adoption. It’s not a secret, you can ask me about it. In fact, I LOVE talking about adoption. I’m not an expert by any means but it’s how God chose to build our family and I enjoy sharing our story. I like that I can be a resource for people considering adoption (or people who just want to know more) and I try to keep it real and share the indescribable joys along with the painful, crappy parts.

But … you knew there was going to be a but, right?... there are some things that really shouldn’t be discussed in casual, just getting to know you situations. I try not to be offended when people say unknowingly hurtful things but honestly, sometimes one careless remark can leave a sting that lasts for days. 

So, since I know you don’t mean to hurt my feelings, I’d like to guide you through some often asked questions and explain why they should really be no-gos. 

“Why did his real mom give him up?”

There are a whole host of things wrong with this sentence. First, I am his real mom. Birthmother or biological mother are the terms used to describe the wonderful woman who gave birth to him. Second, she didn’t “give him up.” She “placed him” with a loving family. It’s an important distinction. Lastly, please understand this is a very personal question and most of the time when I’m asked this I’m going to tell you, as lovingly as possible, it’s none of your business. Every placement is different but none of them are easy. We have an open adoption and have a great relationship with our birthmom. It is not my place to share the details of most heartbreaking experience of her life with you. 

 “Can you not have kids of your own?”

He is my own kid. I find it impossible to believe anyone has ever loved a child more than I love this little guy. It’s important to me (even though it shouldn’t matter what you think) that you understand how much he is “my own.” We are mother and son in every way that matters. And the other thing, do you really want to hear about my journey of infertility? That’s another terribly personal aspect of my life that I’m not ready to discuss with you in the checkout line at Publix. (If you are struggling to get pregnant and need someone to talk to that’s been there that is totally different.) 

“Aren’t you afraid? I have a friend who had this really terrible adoption experience…”

I don’t get this now that he’s home with us and finalized but when we announced we were adopting this was a big one. Honestly, yes. As potential adoptive parents, we are worried that something is going to disrupt our adoptions before we get to bring the baby home. But when you tell your friends that you’re pregnant do you want them to start telling you about every miscarriage or birth defect story they have ever heard? No. You want them to be happy for you. That’s all we want. The reality is there are about 20,000 domestic infant adoptions in the US annually and less than 1% go to court. We want our friends and family to be excited for us. If the worst happens you can try to help us put the pieces of our hearts back together the way we would try to help you if a miscarriage happened. 

“How much did he cost?”

Yes, adoption is expensive. Cost is a valid concern if you’re considering adoption and I’d be happy to talk at length about it. I can help get you in touch with grant agencies and give you fundraising ideas. Let’s talk federal tax breaks over coffee. But “how much did he cost?” makes him sound like a commodity. We don’t pay for a baby, we pay for social workers and office space and phone lines and marketing and a million other things that help facilitate a safe place for birth mothers to find loving families for their precious children. Bottom line - my son is priceless!

“Oh my goodness! I bet you get pregnant now!”

This isn’t one of those questions that hurt me personally but I know a lot of women who still have very deep wounds from infertility. Little fact – about 30% of infertility is unexplainable. Meaning all the tests on mom and dad come back normal but for some reason no baby happens.  In these cases, it’s not unheard of for unexpected pregnancies to happen after adoption. The other 70% of us know why we aren’t able to get pregnant. If you don’t know the situation you shouldn’t say anything. This adoptive mother may have had her ovaries removed due to cancer. Or a hysterectomy. Or maybe she had no problem getting pregnant but has suffered 6 miscarriages. Me personally, I don’t want to get pregnant. Adoption is wonderful. I am fulfilled in ways I never imagined I would be and I can’t even picture myself pregnant any more. Adoption is how God chose for us to build our family. If He decides pregnancy is in the plans for us I’ll manage but I think I would cry for a week before I got myself together.

“Where is he from?”

This is kind of a trick question. I have no problem answering where my child is from. To me it’s the same as asking you what hospital you delivered at. The problem lies in what often comes next. “Oh, I’m so glad you didn’t get a baby from somewhere else. There are so many children here who need good homes.”   Families adopt internationally because that’s where God put their children. 

“He’s so lucky to have you.”

I am the lucky one. I hope that I can give him a tenth of what he has brought into my life. I thank God ever single night that He allows me to be his mother. That He’s allowing me to watch this child grow into the person He’s created him to be. That He brought our birthmother, Cati, into our lives. I am so undeserving of these blessings and that makes me even more grateful. 

Just try to remember that even though adoption is somewhat of a novelty, I’m still just a mom. Hope this helps!

Jenn <3